How do I tell my mom I’m going to exhibit at Pride?
As I said in my profile, I’m a writer. I exhibit at various shows in my area with my self-published poetry zines. I live in Massachusetts and my parents live in Pennsylvania, still where I grew up.
I’m out as bi to them so that’s not the issue. But I’ve never really worked or exhibited at a queer event in their area. I’m afraid my mom will freak out at the idea of someone she knows knowing THAT.
But it’s really important to me to go to the event and I don’t want to lie and not tell her I’m coming home, as I do it so rarely and I’ll save money if I stay with them. I do have other options in case they have issues, though.
How do I say this?
December 18, 2007 @ 7:54 pm
I’m thinking, tell them only as much as they need to know. It’s funny how when people don’t REALLY want to know something, they find a way of not knowing. In other words, they won’t ask if they know the answer is something they don’t want to hear. They already know you’re bi so they’ve had to reconcile that in their minds somehow. They have some ideas floating around as to what that means. If they care to confirm the reality of those ideas, or if they’re curious about it, they’ll ask. If they don’t care to, they won’t. So I suggest going home and let them know you’re “working” at Pride and leave it at that. If they ask, tell them you’re exhibiting. If they keep asking, be honest. Just don’t push it. Only give them more information if they specifically ask for it. If this is part of your life, you shouldn’t hide it. But at the same time, if they’re not ready to accept everything that being bi might mean, then let them take things in at their own pace. But definitely go home and see your family, even if they don’t quite understand you. In the end, they love you and you love them. And besides, you’re clearly at peace with who you are and that’s really the most important thing.
Spoken on December 18th, 2007 at 8:56 pm